So, I will be blogging at a new location.
And as I am closing out all my other blogs I am going back and seeing a lot of what I wrote and am cringing slightly at how I revisit the same problems over and over again. Funny how you think you are experiencing something new and realize that though it is getting slightly better, you are still working on the same thing...
It almost makes me want to just completely abandon all the old post but instead, I am consolidating my blogs. I figure, it shows my journey and I have learned so much since then and things make so much more sense and other things I am obviously still working out...
Anyway, as I consolidate I'll be deleting my posts from here and just moving there.
A friend's husband made a comment yesterday about his "job" and how his wife "doesn't work". I hope he was kidding. They've got 3 kids. LOL I've come to realize that all spouses have a VOCATION to each other, and really, it doesn't get days off. All parents have a VOCATION as parents and they they might get an hour off.
The "world" makes us think that we are supposed to get 2 days off each week, it makes us think that we are supposed to want that much time away from our kids--and maybe at some point I will. Now, I just need an hour here or there to recharge. And really, that's the point of the time off-time to recharge right?
Even when a parent works outside of the home, their first priority is to their VOCATION of parent; doing well in the job and devoting the time necessary is what is needed to sustain the family. We have to remember that. Our life isn't the job, our life is the family and it is when we have THAT priority straight, that we find our true happiness.
It really has been hard making the adjustment. I worked outside of the home and still think I'm supposed to get a day off. It's been a war in my head as I tamp down that selfish part of me that is whining about *me* time that really, I don't need. Yes, I do need SOME time, but the more I get that is gluttonous(over what is truly needed), the more I want--and it just leads to the selfish tendencies again.
And I've been thinking about this all night but alas, my kid doesn't want to give me more time to compose this thoughts so, I best get back to that vocation of mine.
So I watched Obama's speech yesterday and it came to the part on swine flu. And he was speaking of immediately pulling kids out of school if they get sick and for parents to make contingency plans. So, silly me is talking to my mother and I say "wow, is this his way of saying HOMESCHOOL????" and my mom says um, no. He is telling parents to get a baby sitter so they can go back to work.
Yeah, I'm that naive.
It's funny how the "adjustments" I'm having to being a mom of a third have nothing to do with the addition of another child. They are dealing with the "new" stages the older ones are going through. Dealing with J as a almost 3 yo and his completely different personality than C. Dealing with C going through everything for the first time. Really, G is easy. I mean, he's a baby and I know how to deal with that. It's the others and their "new" situations that are hard for me to wrap my mind around...
The power of Christ's blood
***
Today was my husband's first day back at work. And overall it really was a good day. I balanced back and forth between the three charges. School got done, the baby got fed and changed and we even had a good day potty training the 2 yo. Even finished school at a relatively early time and was able to get an extra lesson in and do 40 minutes of exercise. Heck, I even had a bit of time during G's nap and was able to read a book.
And then, came bath time. Well, that was when I began to slip. That was when the 2 yo didn't want to get out of the bath and I had to put the baby down and physically remove him. That was when the 2 yo started crying and woke up hubby and I decided now is the time to transition him and his brother to the other room or this is going to be a nightly struggle.
And the 2 yo kept it up and kept getting out of bed. And I lost my temper and yelled. I haven't yelled in a while. And then the 5 yo started saying it was scary. With the light on and his brother right there??? And then I lost it again.
I just needed one more hour of patience. One more hour and I could have survived the first day.
I realized something though. We almost need to have a new baby to make us realize that we have been babying our older ones. C has held on to this "fear" for too long. It really is time he was forced to face it. They are both very capable, it really is time that we let them spread their wings a bit and test out their independence.
And, I've learned I need an hour more of patience.
I've learned I need to give my 2 yo more warning and more chances to make decisions based on options A, B and C. The sky is not always the limit and we have to work on that more.
Thankfully, tomorrow is another chance to get it right.
I'm not sure if people realize all the adjustments that come into play with a new baby. I mean, yes, mama has a full time responsibility added to the mix. A baby is definitely a 24 hour a day, full time gig. BUT mama already had MANY full time gigs she was dealing with and so really, how can you add another? So, you make adjustments....
J, my 2 yo has to adjust to his needs not always coming first. He already has had to make this adjustment with his older brother C, but, now this new baby is in the mix and well, it's different. And I am worried about him. Mostly because as of this moment he is my middle child and it is very important to me that he adjust well as I am a middle child and I don't think I adjusted well. He is also more stubborn than his older brother and more self involved. I'm not sure if this is due to his slightly younger age--C was a couple months over 3 when J came and J is a couple months younger-- OR if it is just part of who he is. I do remember that C reached a point where he thought he could get away with everything and it was through consistent expectations and firm resolve that we got through it. Now, the difference is, that with C,it happened BEFORE J arrived and with J it is happening AFTER.
I am very much afraid of this causing resentments but I also can't let him get away with it or I'll have a little terror on my hands in a couple of years... So, striking a balance, making adjustments. Stepping up my parenting of my second son and finding the energy to keep it going and not just let it go because I am too busy with my third son....
And I have to make some adjustments in our school routine as well. School is of course a priority and we generally do it before we do anything else. But, J is going to need some extra playdates. Chores are going to have to be done and morning is the best time for this. So, a couple days a week, school is going to have to shift to the afternoon instead of the morning. I think this will help ME to stay on top of some more stuff at the house and will also help J as he needs something to call his own as well.
And adjustments in prayers. I love the Liturgy of the Hours and wish I could say all the prayers every day. Truly, if I could say morning, midday, noon, afternoon, evening, night and office of readings. But in my vocation as mother, though I do need my prayer time, I don't always have time for more than a quick Hail Mary.... So, for the moment I have to cut back on my formal prayer until I can adjust the babe into my routine. Thankfully, the LOTH is one of those that if I am having a particularly hard time, I can take a break and say the hour I'm closest to in order to have balance. I am very grateful that I discovered it.
And with that, I have to start getting a bit into my routine. Today is a laundry day. I'm hoping to get through the majority of it at least. I'm also working on getting back into our school routine with C. Hubby has been awesome and has been completing the lessons with him but I'd rather have some dry run time now so that it doesn't come as a complete shock when he returns to work.
I'm not sure if people realize all the adjustments that come into play with a new baby. I mean, yes, mama has a full time responsibility added to the mix. A baby is definitely a 24 hour a day, full time gig. BUT mama already had MANY full time gigs she was dealing with and so really, how can you add another? So, you make adjustments....
J, my 2 yo has to adjust to his needs not always coming first. He already has had to make this adjustment with his older brother C, but, now this new baby is in the mix and well, it's different. And I am worried about him. Mostly because as of this moment he is my middle child and it is very important to me that he adjust well as I am a middle child and I don't think I adjusted well. He is also more stubborn than his older brother and more self involved. I'm not sure if this is due to his slightly younger age--C was a couple months over 3 when J came and J is a couple months younger-- OR if it is just part of who he is. I do remember that C reached a point where he thought he could get away with everything and it was through consistent expectations and firm resolve that we got through it. Now, the difference is, that with C,it happened BEFORE J arrived and with J it is happening AFTER.
I am very much afraid of this causing resentments but I also can't let him get away with it or I'll have a little terror on my hands in a couple of years... So, striking a balance, making adjustments. Stepping up my parenting of my second son and finding the energy to keep it going and not just let it go because I am too busy with my third son....
And I have to make some adjustments in our school routine as well. School is of course a priority and we generally do it before we do anything else. But, J is going to need some extra playdates. Chores are going to have to be done and morning is the best time for this. So, a couple days a week, school is going to have to shift to the afternoon instead of the morning. I think this will help ME to stay on top of some more stuff at the house and will also help J as he needs something to call his own as well.
And adjustments in prayers. I love the Liturgy of the Hours and wish I could say all the prayers every day. Truly, if I could say morning, midday, noon, afternoon, evening, night and office of readings. But in my vocation as mother, though I do need my prayer time, I don't always have time for more than a quick Hail Mary.... So, for the moment I have to cut back on my formal prayer until I can adjust the babe into my routine. Thankfully, the LOTH is one of those that if I am having a particularly hard time, I can take a break and say the hour I'm closest to in order to have balance. I am very grateful that I discovered it.
And with that, I have to start getting a bit into my routine. Today is a laundry day. I'm hoping to get through the majority of it at least. I'm also working on getting back into our school routine with C. Hubby has been awesome and has been completing the lessons with him but I'd rather have some dry run time now so that it doesn't come as a complete shock when he returns to work.
Something wonderful that is happening this time that I have never experienced before? A feeling of community. I have a local mom's group who are anxious to meet the new addition and who will be coming over with their babes to meet him. I have my son's godmother who stopped by today and brought us lunch and a few items for the baby and gave him a blessing before leaving.
It really is nice after 6 years of being in this area to finally feel as if I am *from* this area.
Something wonderful that is happening this time that I have never experienced before? A feeling of community. I have a local mom's group who are anxious to meet the new addition and who will be coming over with their babes to meet him. I have my son's godmother who stopped by today and brought us lunch and a few items for the baby and gave him a blessing before leaving.
It really is nice after 6 years of being in this area to finally feel as if I am *from* this area.
